Twilight ~ As told by Cajunstarwalker. =U

Bella: I hate you daddy. I like my other home where I had friends. I wish I had stayed with mom you *(&%% loser.
Dad: Now now baby. You'll make NEW friends. You'll like it here. C=
Bella: LIAR.

Bella: *meets strange paraplegic Indian dude in wheelchair and his son*
Jacob: *stares at Bella's &*(* Hey... :wub:
Bella: Hey... 0.o ^_^
Jacob: Wanna be fwiends? C=
Bella: FRIEND YAY... er... wait.. Yeah sure. <_<
Dads: I think he likes you.
Dad of Bella: YAY, grandkids. >=D
Indian Dude: YAY, grandkids. >=D

Later that week... At school.

Bella: Who's that pale faced &%&^ a few desks over? He's SO pale.
Edward: *is staring at her like O_O*
Random girl: He's Edward Cullen, part of the Cullen brood, they keep to themselves. Blah blah blah.
Bella: Such strange pale face and big wide eyes.... o.o
Edward: O_O *blink blink*

A few days later...

Bella: Hey... where's that pale faced &%&^?
Random girl: Skipped or something. Edward and his entire faggoty family never come to school when it's raining outside. WIMPS!
Bella: Okay.... .__. Weird...

After school...

Bella: La la la la *is skipping in parking lot* Oh *!@, I didn't look both ways! *car swerves to hit her*
Edward: *leaps in like Superman and gets hit by car, stopping it from hitting her* TaDa! =D
Bella: =3
Edward: *blink blink O_O* *runs off madly*
Bella: Wait. D: FRIEND!!! <333
Edward: Get away from me you crazy &*(&^!!! I don't love you!!! ;___; I can't have any friends!!! *escapes*
Bella: *whimpers*

Later that day...

Bella: I can't find him... D= That weird boy who saved my life. Edward. You seen him?
Girl: !@#$ no. <_<

Throughout the week...

Bella: Have you seen this kid? D= You know... Edward Cullen?
Everyone: No. 0_o
Someone: Who the !@#$ is Edward? o.o

Some day after school.

Bella: EDWARD!!! I see you! >=C
Edward: *takes off fake mustache and glasses* Aw crap. You found me... <_< *looks for way to escape and dashes into forest*
Bella: *gives chase >=O*

Later.

Bella: GOT YA.
Edward: Very naggy and persistent aren't ya? <,<
Bella: I need to talk to you. But I feel like you've been avoiding me. 0.o
Edward: Heh heh.... *is nervous cause it's true :3* What do you want to um... talk about? <_<
Bella: You saved me. You were hit by car blah blah blah and didn't even have a scratch. EXPLAIN.
Edward: You're stark raving mad. Are you on DRUGS? =O
Bella: Stop lying!
Edward: Fine... I've been ignoring you.
Bella: Why? D=
Edward: I'm scared.
Bella: Scared of what.
Edward: That I'd hurt you or something... <_<
Bella: I'm not afraid of you.
Edward: You don't know what I am.
Bella: And what would that be.
Edward: You already know. Think about it.
Bella: *has figured it out through random crappy not so subtle, more like SUBTLE hints at Edward being a vampire throughout the story* *pauses*
Edward: SAY IT!! D:<
Bella: *pauses more*
Edward: SAY IT!!! SAY IT!!!! SAY IT YOU FREAKING &%$!!! D:<
Bella: Vampire. 0_o
Edward: You're really not scared? O-o
Bella: No... You make me feel safe. =0 I trust you.
Edward: *grins* Come with me. >=D I'll show you something you'll never forget. *Grabs Bella and they like soar through the forest in the trees and other bullcrap*
Together: Wheeeeeeeeeee ^___^

Later...

They're outside in the forest. *it starts raining*

Bella: *is reminded* Why do you play hooky when it rains? =U
Edward: <,< Because... this is me when it rains... *Steps into the rain and he kind of shimmers O___o* Because I SPARKLE. =) Manly huh?
Bella: Hmm... actually rather gay. <_<
Edward: =C
Bella: Hmm... so why were you ignoring me earlier?
Edward: Never have I met somebody who tempts me SO badly. @_@ I've NEVER wanted anyone more in my life... D=
Bella: 0_0
Edward: I was afraid I was gonna give in to my instincts and eat you.
Bella: Eat how? <__>
Edward: Drink all your blood and crap. .__. So tempted. @_@
Bella: .__. You wouldn't do that though. D: You're different. You told me earlier in a part Cajun decided to skip explaining cause it was so much bullcrap! You only drink animal blood! Like Rabbits! C= Sucks to be them.
Edward: Something is different about you though. .___. You're so perfect...
Bella: Hold me... <333
Edward: <333 *starts snogging with Bella and they have a freaky deaky vampire make out scene O______o*
Bella and Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. <33333

That night...

Guy: La la la la. =) I like my crappy job. ^_^
Vampires: Hey. >=D
Guy: What the !@#$ are you doing here? This is restricted! O-o
3 vamps: Ha ha ha ha ha!!! NOW WE FEED!!! >=D
Guy: 0__o *hand creeps towards phone but the vampires attack him and drink his blood* Wheeee C=
Vamps: *attack him*
Dude: *Aaaaaaaaagh* *body is found later by Bella's cop daddy*

A few days later.

Edward: Meet my family Bella... Living in my fancy old run down house.
Bella: Little weird... Thought it'd be... different? o.o
Edward: What'd you expect? COFFINS? LOL NOOB!!! LOL
Bella:
Edward: I'm sorry baby. D: Hey family members! :3 *sees family*
Family: FOOD!!! O__O EDWARD BROUGHT FOOD!!! FRESH MEAT!!! YAY SOMETHING BETTER THAN SMALL MAMMALS!!! ^_^ *everyone rushes to eat Bella*
Bella: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH DX
Edward: O_O NO!!! NOT FOOD!!! FRIEND!!! ;D I saved her life... and she loves me now. And she knows what I am... and she's not scared... and... I love her too... And... I've been a virgin for over a hundred years in a teenager's body and am REALLY REALLY am desperate to get laid. C=
Family member: Edward told our secret!!! We'll have to do them both in.
Edward and Bella: D=
Someone who seems to have the most authority: Now now you guys, let's be nice to the human. C: Edward cares about her. It's great to meet you Bella. =)
Bella: =D *shakes hands and other lame cordial stuff*
Authority family member: Usually he brings home guys.
Bella: O___o
Edward: *gasps* She... She's lying!!! D=
Bella: Um... ok I believe you Edward. <3
Edward: Whew... =) *makes angry I'll kill you later for telling fist at family who all lol at him behind his back. :3*
Edward and Bella: ^___^ *is having fun at the party*

That night...

Guy: La la la. I hate my low paying job. :C
Vampires: Heh heh heh. FOOD!!! O_O
Guy: Food? 0.o
Vampires: YES!!! FOOD!!! *eats him and blood splatters all over the fricking wall >=D*
Guy: AAAAGH DX *does Wilhelm scream =U*

Next day....

Bella's cop daddy: Seems like we got a serial killer on our hands. *says it like he's proud of his shitty and conclusion of the obvious*
Deputy: Sure does chief. :o Who would want to be murdering people in our beloved horrible town that I don't know is home to wimpy vampires?
Bella's dad: I don't know. 0__o Wanna think about it after another dozen Krispy Kremes?
Deputy: YEAH!!! =D

Later...

Edward and Bella: I wuv you... X3
Edward: Eskimo kiss for Bella!!! <3
Bella: Eskimo kiss for Edwad!!! <3
Them: *eskimo kisses each other and hugs stupidly*
Bella: Mmm... That last kiss was fruity.
Edward: DX Pardon?
Bella: Forbidden fruit... Yummy... >=D
Edward: Oh. >=D

Next day.

Dad: Bella there's a murderer going around mutilating bodies and other sick stuff like raping em, ect. Until me and my men catch this son of a &*(&^ I want you to go immediately home after school from now on. =) It's for your own protection.
Bella: But I had a date with Edward tonight. D= You know... That pale faced mother!
Dad: Well just reschedule... or something. =D He'd understand.
Bella: No he won't daddy, then he'll leave me for the next chick he shoves out of the way of a moving vehicle. There'll never be another love for me like the one that me and Edward share.
Dad: =\
Bella: FINE.... <_< *is totally lying*
Dad. ^__^ I'm such a good parent. Such a smart and obedient daughter. =)

Later that afternoon...

Bella: Oh Edward. *hugs him* I'm so glad I disobeyed my father so we could have steamy sex in the forest. =D
Edward: Actually me and my family thought we'd play baseball today. We need an extra player. Can we count you in!? =D
Bella: Oh... D= Well... I dunno... *fakes disinterest*
Everyone, ESPECIALLY Edward: D=
Bella: Well...
Everyone, ESPECIALLY Edward: =O
Bella: Okay!
Edward: YAY!!! ^_________^
Everyone else: Yay! =)
Bella: X3

Later that afternoon while playing baseball....

Evil 3 vampires show up.: Heh heh heh.
Them: Oh noez!!!
Edward: So it's you three that have been killing the people in town! *epic gasp at lame twist that everyone already knew <_<*
One of the vampires: *Sees Bella and tries to eat her C=* YOU SMELL SO GOOD!!! I GOT YOUR SCENT NOW!!! >=D
Bella: AAAAAAAAAAAGH DX
Edward: BELLA!!! D= *defends*
Everyone: Quickly Bella!!! WE MUST FLEE!!! O_O *cue lame short chase sequence >=P*

Later...

Cullen Family: You must flee Bella. Tis not safe here. We shall send for you when it is safe... But... For now... You must... RUN!!! RUN!!! RUN LIKE YA STOLE SOMETHING!!!
Bella: D= But you guys can protect me...
Edward: It's too dangerous for you Bella. We can't risk it. Please just go...
Cullen Family Member: He has your scent! He will not stop, he will not rest, he will never give up the thrill of the hunt. O_O RUN!!!
Bella: Fine I'll go hide somewhere. <_<
Edward and them: Say g'bye to daddy and ect.

Later...

Bella: Dad I hate you and I'm leaving for a while cause I can't stand being here no more.
Dad: ;___;
Bella: ;___; I iz sorry but I have to for god knows why.

Later...

Cullen Family: Edward you have Bella's scent on you so you'll come with us. We'll use you as bait to take the dude off of Bella's trail. Ok someone else take Bella to hide in a run down motel outside of Phoenix.

LATER....

Evil vampire: This isn't Bella's scent. Golly... I've been tricked. >=C *stops what he's doing and goes to look for the REAL Bella*

LATER STILL...

Bella: I'm hiding... Yay. =) La la la la. *cue epically lame phone call*
Evil Vampire: *calls her room*
Bella: Yes... Who is it? Bella speaking.
Evil vamp: Stupid little Bad girl who dresses inappropriately. I have your mother. >=D
Bella: Mommy!? ;___; *hears voice talking on phone* MOMMY!!! D=
Evil Vamp: If you don't turn yourself in to myself in one hour I blow up a hospital. Oh wait, wrong story. I mean I'll eat your mother. Surrender now Bella. The choice is yours. HA HA HA HA HA. Meet me at this desolate location blah blah blah. :3
Bella: D: *listens to him*

LATER........

Bella: Let her go. >=0
Evil Vamp: Dumb &*(&^. It was all a recording of her voice from an old VHS tape I found at your house. =D You fell right for it. Damn I can't believe it was so easy. 0____o Anyway NOW YOU DIE!!! *forces himself onto her*
Bella: AAAAAGH!!! D=
Cullen Family: *arrive after having realized that the evil man had realized it was a trick, having followed her scent to the weird place* Release her!
Evil Vamp: How about no... *bites into her wrist. YUM YUM YUM ^_____^
Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All out vampire combat ensues and the evil vampire is killed within like thirty seconds. O_o
Edward: She's dying dad. ;___;
Cullen father figure: Well you can either kill her now... Or you can try to suck the venom out of her wound before she dies.
Bella: *is having a spaz attack on the floor cause she got bit by a vampire* ECK ECK ECK ECK X______x
Edward: I can't do it. D= She's too *(&%% hot. She makes me so lustful. ;_____; I couldn't control myself.
Bella: ECK ECK ECK ECK ECK ECK ECK
Edward: OH FINE I'LL DO IT D: *starts lapping at her wrist like a dog* BLOOD @____@ <333 *starts sucking on her wrist creepily* BLOOD... @_____@ <333
Cullen Family: That's enough Edward, you sucked the poison from her body minutes ago! D:
Edward: Holy *!@! D= *stops and Bella is like X____x*
Bella: X___x Eh.... I feel bad...
Cullens: To a hospital we go! =D

A few weeks later...

Bella: So glad you took me to the school prom Edward. <3
Edward: I love you honey bunny. <3
Bella: So... I've been thinking... Can I be your vampire bride? =D =D =D
Edward: NO... <__< It's not safe for you...
Bella: D= ;_____; *they awkwardly dance and the movie ends*


And thus is the entire story for Twilight all summed up to be entertaining. =D

Hope you enjoyed it my droogies. ^_^ I watched this crap so you don't have to! =D