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 A Fanboy Rant over Star Wars: The Clone Wars that basically reviews it. (Spoilers)

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Cajun Canine
Cajun Canine

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Join date : 2010-01-13
Age : 27
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PostSubject: A Fanboy Rant over Star Wars: The Clone Wars that basically reviews it. (Spoilers)   Sun Jan 24, 2010 10:17 pm

Worst Star Wars Movie EVER. I'd give it a big fat F no joke.

Fail reasons among MANY things...

* Movie starts and it's a different score ._.
* Movie starts without normal intro of sliding text to serve as prologue
* RIGHT when it starts a gay sounding announcer, no joke, homosexual gay btw Wink, starts giving us a crappy narration about the events of the movie.
* Apparently Jabba the Hutt's son is kidnapped. Who the !@#$ would sleep with him I dunno but he's paternal now? LOLOLOLOLOLOL WTF? Jabba caring? LOL
* The dialogue was worse than George Lucas as a writer. It was just SO bad... ._.
* The animation was cheap and crude looking. Seriously wtf. <_< The character models even looked WOODEN. ._.
* The voice acting was horrendous. Not only do they not have Frank Oz as Yoda D:< they only have C3PO, Count Dooku and Mace Windu voiced by their actual actors.
* The plot was HORRIBLE. Like I mentioned already, it thrusts us into the middle of some weird battle and then tells us Jabba's son has been kidnapped. Apparently one slug is so powerful they need his alliance or some other bullcrap so they go out to rescue him. The sith try to frame the Jedi as well so they look bad and don't get the help. =P Meanwhile Anakin has some whiny little brat dumped on him as a padawan.
* They never explain how Anakin got his scar.
* They never explain when Count Dooku got an apprentice or who the !@#$ she is.
* Since when do Clone Troopers have mowawks and die their hair orange and blue and red and crap? O_o Some of em don't even look the same. ._.
* The lightsaber duels were stale and lame. They weren't thrilling or exciting in any way. Though there was ONE cool part on Tatooine in the lame fight sequence with Anakin vs Dooku where they hurl sand in each other's faces. Cheap bastards. =U
* There's a Hutt on Corascaunt that talks like Truman Capote, has feathers and a strange hat and star tattoos. I joke not. .__. And he's evil and plotting to screw his nephew, Jabba over to be the dominant Hutt. Ha ha ha. And there's nothing we can do about it. ._.
* Anakin's apprentice is so f'ing hatable. She's one of those whiny, bitchy characters who's really stupid and gets herself in the deep *!@ for "comedic effect" and cracks lame one liners. And she has an annoying voice, does stupid stuff, and defends stupid actions. <_< DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. After much consideration I decided she'd die at the Jedi Temple, first to die after Anakin begins executing Order 66.
* Yoda is a GIMMICK. He appears for like 3 minutes the whole film.
* There are points where the villians LITERALLY do EVIL LAUGHS as in like there's nothing you can do to stop me. OLOLOLOL. .____.
* The droids are RETARDS. Everything is dumbed down, even the mild violence. The droids are more like bumbling idiots who are really slow to catch onto anything and argue with each other.
* Jabba's Palace had no party goers. D= Cept one slave dancer who looked HAPPY to be there. O_o In RotJ he had TONS of people there. And apparently he can understand English now. He apparently just uses a droid to translate his words or something for people to hear or something. 0.o Lol wut. In RotJ Bib Fortuna and C3PO translate FOR Luke, and FOR Jabba. Jabba dun speak English. D:<
* At one point in the film the smartass apprentice is like you grew up on Tatooine didn't you mastah? C= My thoughts raced to "WHEN THE **** did he tell you. T_T HE NEVER TOLD YOU *****!!!! PLOT HOLE PLOT HOLE!!! WTF!?
*Oh btw there was a lame sequence where Obi Wan tried to negotiate with some general who's stupid enough to leave his tank thingy. O_O Yeah. And he's like I shall negotiate the terms of surrender with you. :3 And the dialogue is SO bad. And he's stalling or something. He's like could we have some refreshments? C= Alien to Droid: "Get us some refreshments. Bring us back something liquid." NO JOKE. VERBATIM QUOTE. WOW...
Simian King Posted on Oct 12 2009, 06:39 PM
* Forgot to mention that Anakin and what's her face have cutsey nicks for each other. He's "Skyguy" and she's "Pins" or something. O_____o *facetwitch*

Long story short there is NOTHING redeemable in this movie and it serves as a cash in on the Star Wars name. Wink Lucas didn't even do *!@ in the production. He was the executive producer, that was it. No story, no script, not even directing... <_<

This movie can burn in hell. Discuss. =)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: F

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A Fanboy Rant over Star Wars: The Clone Wars that basically reviews it. (Spoilers)

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