Cajun Canine Admin
Posts : 1101 Join date : 2010-01-13 Age : 32 Location : Georgia, USA
| Subject: I Rate Each Kill in The Final Destination (Huge spoilers) Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:07 pm | |
| I watched this last night. It sucked. Gonna review each kill out of boredom for those interested. The bolded are their final destinations and the italics are people who got saved(note they always die later in the film, you can't cheat death =P). THEY ALL DIE IN EVERY MOVIE, so this isn't really spoilers, but I'll spoiler box it so that you don't have their how they dies spoiled. =U - Spoiler:
Mechanic's Girlfriend: Killed by a flying wheel that comes out of nowhere and slices her head off. It literally flew hundreds of feet in the air, from hundreds of feet away inside the stadium into the crowd of survivors. =\ WTH? 1/10
Racist Dude: While lighting a cross on George's yard, death turns on his truck's radio. He freaks and runs to turn it off so the neighbors don't wake up and see him, but death locks him out of the car. Death makes a six pack fall down from the dashboard and the plastic stuff that goes around the cans attaches to the stick shift, and it's knocked out of park. The car begins going down the street as the man runs after his pick-up. A ball winch chain thing previously fell out of the truck while he was getting the cross out of the back, and as he runs the chain hooks him in the leg. As he is dragged down the street, a thing of gasoline tips over in the truck and pours gas all over the road in a trail. Sparks fly from the rattling chains against the concrete and the man is lit on fire. Soon the truck explodes and his severed head lands right at George's feet, who had gone outside upon hearing his screams. 6/10
Soccer Mom: After avoiding being stabbed by scissors, hit by exploding hairspray, and crushed by a falling ceiling fan all in a hair salon, she goes outside and a fat dude smoking on a riding mower rides over a rock that her children had been throwing at a sign outside. The rock flies through the air towards her and scratches her out of existence. Btw it's a really small rock and it happens to go through her eyes. I'd give it a 1 but it gets 1 extra point for having her two kids there to scream mommy in horror right when she bites it. 2/10
The Mechanic: Standing next to a chain link fence while talking to other survivors, a huge vehicle breaks off the jacks inside where he works and rolls off towards him. He barely misses it, only because the chain cable that rolls up and was connected to the vehicle ran out of slack. However as he rejoices and walks to the side to head back in, a can falls off of something in the mechanic shop knocking into something else bigger, that falls onto a huge canister of helium. The helium tank goes flying in the air towards him, knocking him in the chest and sending him flying towards the chain link fence. He hits the fence so hard that strips of meat come out of the back end of the fence, like a meat grinder of sorts. Cool wtf effect and kinda amusing. 5/10
Hunt, the jocky guy who just wants to get laid before he dies and succeeds: At a pool, some little kid squirts him with a water gun. He gets pissed off and grabs the pool toy from him, along with popping the raft he's on, donkey, and he throws the gun behind a locked area with pool stuff, and accidentally hits a lever that says "drain pool area". 0_o Because the kid squirted him with water, his phone got ruined and he isn't able to hear the warning message Nick sent him seconds before, who is rushing to locate him because he's next to die along with Janet. Meanwhile underwater the pool starts draining and the suction from the force of it breaks off a cover, making the bottom drain totally exposed. Over on a golf course, someone sends a golf ball flying and it knocks away Hunt's lucky coin. He leaps into the water after it, the coin is sucked down the drain and the guy swims around looking for it. Eventually he swims too close to the drain, and the suction pulls him onto it, so he's basically sitting on his $$$ in terror. Pressure builds up while he struggles to remove his $$$ off the drain, and while George and Lori are saving Janet, Nick shows up to save him. Nick screams for his friend but does not know he is in the pool. Eventually the pressure builds up so much that it sucks Hunt's organs out of his $$$ literally or something, and organs spew out of some pipes on the other side of the pool on the surface. His coin lands next to a kidney. =U I'd rate it higher but I honestly have no idea wtf happened, did his $$$ get sucked through the drain or something? O_o I loved the setup though. 3/10
Janet, the snobby annoying ***** who just wants to enjoy life and ignores the facts all of her friends are dying, even after what happens here: A homeless man asks for change outside a store she exits, she obliges and gives him some change. He picks through it and to his disgust finds a penny. He hurls it at some birds who fly off and crap on the chick's windshield. LOL, wth! The chick tries to wash it off, but the stuff merely smears all over. So... let's head down.. to the car wash yeah! She puts in her change and dollar bills and rolls up her windshields, ect. Midway through the car wash, the vehicle stops moving down the track and she finds her phone isn't working to call for help, nor will her car unroll the windows. Suddenly her sun roof opens and she can't get it to close. A pipe full of water above the car bursts and soapy water begins filling up inside of the car as she screams for someone to help her. After a few minutes, right in the nick of time she gets her head above water outside the sun roof. At that time the car begins rolling again right towards the car buffer thing and she's screaming over and over nonstop now. Sadly, George and Lori find her in time and end what would have been the best kill of the movie. This was easily the most inventive and creative of the movie's death scenes, sadly it didn't get fulfilled. Instead this girl dies later in the worst ending ever for a final destination film.Death Setup Scenario: 10/10
Chivalrous Cowboy: He was supposed to die in the accident at the race track, but because of the warning he only got hospitalized. The survivors aren't even AWARE of him til they realize that death's design isn't letting George kill himself because he isn't next on the list. =U George and Nick run to the hospital to save him but are too late. A korean war vet upstairs is getting ready for therapy in some pool of water in a tub... that won't turn off... It overflows upstairs and water begins leaking down onto the floor below. Onto the cowboy. He reaches for the call nurse button for help but water shocks him and fries that and all of his equipment. Wounded and attatched to cables, he crawls desperately out of bed towards the door in agony. Nick and George find his room right in the nick of time, the man looks at them in pain and in hope, and then the tub crashes down on top of him from the floor above. 4/10
George the token black friend/ally escaping death/security officer at race track: Nailed by bus crossing street. Pretty self explanatory. Recycled from previous Final Destination films. You don't even see the remains of him after he's killed. 0/10
Janet: Some explosive shit is behind a theater screen and there's a fire. It explodes, destroying a mall and the theater. Shit flies towards the 3D movie her and Lori are watching, and she gets impaled by some metal thing. Before she dies she's like "It is my FATE to watch this movie. T.T" Stfu idiots, fate isn't trying to kill us blah blah blah. More hilarious, than inventively awesome. Anyway because Nick stops the fire, he had a premonition of this death, she survived and the explosion was prevented, preventing her death this way. Amusing Kill Status: 7/10 She got owned bad, cool 3D effects rofl. :3 As a horror movie, final destination kill: 3/10
Lori, Nick's loving girlfriend: The elevator her and Nick are on explodes and she falls into the wheely chasm of death and is torn to pieces. Blood splatters all over Nick's face. I have no idea how logical this is reality wise, I have no idea what's under the elevator, I just know I was really entertained by this kill. Anyway, because Nick stops the fire in the theater, she doesn't die then. 7/10
Final Three Survivors, Nick, Lori and Janet: Killed all at once by a semi that drives through the coffee shop they are sitting in. No imagination at all. Lazy ending. At least they died.... Damn teenagers. 1/10 The Movie Itself: DSo in short, the trailer lied, death did NOT save the best for 3D.
Last edited by Cajunstarwalker on Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:02 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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CuteCat Chicken Byproduct Lovers
Posts : 367 Join date : 2010-01-14 Age : 32 Location : Sweden
| Subject: Re: I Rate Each Kill in The Final Destination (Huge spoilers) Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:54 pm | |
| Final Destination sounds... like a crappy movie. It's supposed to be horror? It sounds like it thrives only on gore. Honestly, what the hell? |
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Cajun Canine Admin
Posts : 1101 Join date : 2010-01-13 Age : 32 Location : Georgia, USA
| Subject: Re: I Rate Each Kill in The Final Destination (Huge spoilers) Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:42 pm | |
| Yeah, it's supposed to be horror. Not horror comedy. Just horror. FD4 was the worst of them. I actually kinda enjoyed the first 3 for what they were... But this one had nothing redeeming, even the kills were pretty lame. Final Destination 2's accident scene is amazing though, even by regular movie standards. The crash sequence on the highway accident. HOLY. =D |
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CuteCat Chicken Byproduct Lovers
Posts : 367 Join date : 2010-01-14 Age : 32 Location : Sweden
| Subject: Re: I Rate Each Kill in The Final Destination (Huge spoilers) Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:18 am | |
| Ah, so it's a movie series even... I guess people like gore. I guess it's like the Saw movies - it can try to be creepy, but it mostly just uses gore and situations that seem painful or frightening for those involved. Too bad about Hunt, though. Something about him makes him sound interesting, so why'd he have to get the most humiliating death? |
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| Subject: Re: I Rate Each Kill in The Final Destination (Huge spoilers) | |
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